Crimson lips

Hy lovelies. Its 4.25a.m i was actually awoke to a bloodied mouth hours ago. After much tossing& turning i decided to blog to make my eyes jaded. Anyhow i am happy. I'm my mom's darling priority at the meantime. She prepared ice bags when i got home& she's gonna prepare her delicious porridge later later. What would be your idea of clandestine?


Anyway earlier on Dan was counting on his fingers: "2 words; had fun?! had fun?! when i told him my opinion on the entire operation. Well it isn't everytime you get stitches when your wide awake but still he doesn't like feeling useless like a toy on table with needles. It isn't fun for me now though. Its painful


Okay well back to my selfish thoughts, I love my Miss Bunny(schedule book), i can pen down my davastating worries that i prefer not to display here. Anyway christmas season is coming, i so must purchase my all-time-fav christmas carols disc by Mariah Carey. I've been waiting since since... mine had gone missing 5 yrs ago.


One last thing, i like the spice girls, i do not like Victoria Beckam though, she's like a robotic mannequin in their new vid. I mean, she's such a sad person don't you think? Her jaw seems to be restricted from smiling& i realise our current similarity, unfortunately my jaw can't open open too


Ps: I hope my papa gets well soon..

Strawberries on doughnuts

Ytd.. Dan rented a true story i chose for myself& he bought me fake nails. Well, the tar really does stick them but BUT, i cannot tolerate the many limitations of what faux provides. So i decided to peel it off. I left 2 of them on, for i-think-its cute& he got it for me. One more thing, i have a schedule book. I never had one. This one has the design of female rabbit in Bambi, my gf bought it for me so i'm goona start updating. Hee. One last thing i'm crazy over Mike ho. My bbf is calculating the period of me being fanatic. She wager 2weeks.

For once since my separation from my maker, i decided nothing could sway me from the levity of my meaningless navigation. Maybe 10yrs from now, i'll still indulge myself in fiction& gladly escape to one of its character's demeanor& maybe my existence would be an illustrious lineage in my family. But at this juncture, i am dreading every forward ticking of the time machine& my dreams slowly sheding its every portion into its hiding place until prehaps.. next time.

Anyhow my mom& me had our favourite chweekueh about 12a.m. Yummyyy. She talked about the preparation before the minor surgery later& then i said: "mommy the next few days you'll be glad" & she asked why so i replied "I'll be home cause of my swollen cheek" & she satisfied, we started talking bout banana pancakes my sister made. Well i shall stop here.Tuloos!

make believe is so much fun

Ello everyone:] Okay i'm pretty stuffed with titillating schedules.. well i'm tethering on the brink of God's plans for me. I might get a job. A permanent one. This part of my life is growing up. Anyhow I'm contemplating. Purely work or work& not-my-choice-of study. But then my indecisive choices has its own good intentions. I'm jaded. Very much sometimes. Crying& ignorance would be my latest fashion. Please don't mind me. Anyway did i mention the job comprimises interacting with innocent minds?;; Land babies. hee. So ytd i slumbered at my gf's house(the bunch of us sneaked out to play actually). I played mother of the shitzus& Yiying was the nanny. Okay back to obvious, i picked up bit of MAHJONG from Yi lei. She pronounced me as her luck charm. I do not believe so but it was nice to think that way heheh. Well the contrast is due to countless unfortunate events. i can barely relieve one now. Anyhow in between the wee hours we played bluff; With much analysing our countenance, Yi lei said i'm a whizz at lying though i lost still. I'm an amateur at chain-lying, definitely cannot withstand an interrogation.

Ps: Soni tells me don't let the other language carry me a bag of sinful bygones.

I hurt, i cry, i heal

The last few days dawned a shadowed weather phallic to my current situation. Its a contrast to faux cherry veneer over my face when frugality can't hit back to me. My mom said i've crossed the monied limit due to the comfirmation of a complicated removal of a paltry existence. Which made me terribly guilty to tears. Anyway I like it there in the room. There's a flat screen tv casting Sea philosophy. Anyhow 5 more days to momentary introduction with anesthetic.


Ytd i was back at Dad's but it was just for a day cause i felt more comfortable at my mom's. But i'll be going back there tml again for a small celebration. My stepmother's 35th bday? I think. A gift. gift. gift i've yet purchase one to show my appreciation to her all these years. Well, another plausible reason i'm navigating to adulterated life. Money=leeway=bliss:]


Okay well i spent my last 24hrs in pajamies watching a sappy chinese series with my younger sister. YES. Chinese. I got the whole set. Dan came over after his sch& well he saw me at my most embarrassing moment. Sappy movies make me deeply sentimental. Extremely=.= He then commented "this drama is like bold& beautiful haha." Then i said while crying "I don't like watching these kind of show or those kinds where dogs die." But, i still am. Maybe my tear glands feels it need replenishing. Now, to the typical genevieve routine- i shall end here BYE!

I will follow you into the dark

I'm evil. I like it when my mom is ill. She'll be at home. We had Philipine traditionals(yum) the eminently sour soup is my personal favorite. I don't have a sweet tooth. Then afew hours later we shared Long JohnSilver together. Naeway, i'm getting a part of my body fix tml as now it hurts like corona bottle stuck in ur nose.

Ps: Daniel's my candy coated monster. He doesn't want me to do things alone but don't laugh if i'll have a swollen cheek tml. ily:]

Reflecting thy flaws

i wondered for the first time in my life,
if life was worth all the work it took to live.
what exactly made it worth it?
what's so horrible about being dead forever
and not feeling anything and not dreaming?
what's so great about feeling and dreaming?
(i hate this its depressing)

Rejection& lost are synonymous. After a momentary introduction with reject, you end up staggering in a farinaceous fog especially when you don't have the illusion of life. Well you know you'll still live& you can't relent to demise but you'll dread gettin up everyday struggling to be self sufficient in something you don't like which may provide a conception of no assurance. You then start to think about all the hapless people in worst scenerios& you stab yourself imbecile.

Being in a world with -100% hope you start to relent to depression at sparodic times You then have God to remind you this is the way i want your life to be& you believe him so much you scrap the thought of trashing yourself just to make sure once again there's something beautiful waiting for you.

Anyway the initial experience to celebrate rock well experimental genre included too needs a little makeup. My usual Bobbi Brown eyeliner, Dior mascara& skinfood loose powder. Unfortunately we didn't stay to see Saw loser or Stars don't fall due to lack of dollars to go home. Yes Dan& me are broke. I'm gonna be till i get a job. Anyway i didn't get to see the mosh pit. I was too short'_____' so no tasty info here though there were many naked asses. As they were called by the FM muttons. Anyhow we wanted to cheer nicky at FarEast before that but but but i was caught in something above mentioned. Well.. that's all for now.

I woke up to woman saying Macdonalds to me trying to get me out of bed at 7 plus a.m. That woman was my mother. A woman who has the propensity of doing harebrained stuffs at unpredictable junctures& she has no idea. Anyway back to 'M'. I just finished a whole biggy breakfast i can't sleep& i get to work later in the morning at my sister's new Spa:]

I figured i prefer people who dares to say what they want or feel. Unlike me, i'm a hypocrite. Is there such thing as a sane hypocrisy? just in case there isn't, i am still that. Its my classification of recipocrate to hide my dissatisfaction. But, i'm gonna change that.

Hopes dies last is very good. 'Last night's goodbye' is my personal favourite. Anyway, my hair takes ages to grow. I also cut out the curly strands to devoid from supressing& now it looked one end shorter '_____'

Anyhow.. i want my upper lip pierced. I want black mary-jane shoes& clothes from marc jacobs. The second 2 could be plausible. The inital want would ruin my career opportunities& i'm pretty much happier to being self-sufficient rather than relying on mommy. Its one of my childhood dreams. so bye to wild.

She sleeps like owls don't exist

I've been vastly occupied lately. I met some of my friends during the week of my convalescence. The usual; my grandma nags at how much being outdoors would do to my health. I love her. Though her verbalization are screeching to the ears. Anyway last friday, Coco has a new bed but she seem to be a bit bigger than it. Aww well.. not that she cares.

Yesterday i got to hang out with Daniel, we were suppose to eat out in the morning& then indulge in unplanned places but due to a disclosed situation we bought back for my family. After feasting, i had a bowl of cereal. Banana-nut crunch& chocolate milk! I pretty much finished the entire thing. Afterward we headed out. The wasted day led us enraptured in a rad performance. We saw West Grand Boulevard. They were awesome. The black dressed-emo haired audience were awesome. We didn't watch the others cause there weren't much spare time. I didn't try the redked free styling too. My hair has enough chemicals.

Other than that, Dan& me joined Seth on an i spy you took my ride hunting but to no avail. We waited till 11.45p.m comtemplating whether law should take over& then Dan decided i should go home. I wanted to.. seeing how i got itchy bites on my legs.

Anyhow I don't know what i'll do later. The trip to grandma's house is cancelled. Well gtg bye!

The dreamer& i

I woke up with a farinaeous chest bout 7 a.m waking me to get proverbial warmth& Ventolin. That compared to months ago was less deplorable. Anyway i still had to make a trip down to visit Dr Ho. He deduced i might need almost 3 months of continuous intake of seretide& nasonex due to December season. Anyhow my baby was with me 1/2 of wednesday. He even skippied morning classes. I couldn't be more love-tongue tight;]

Aww as i were saying previously previously, i'm irretrievably cashless. I need to restrain myself to be out anywhere i will spend. yes. That includes no subway sandwiches or anyhow binging on unpermitted diet(by Dr ho), weeks ago.

Okie i was watching blues clues this afternoon& i told my baby that next time i'll want my kids to watch it too. Then he started laughing& then i said "what?". He was like "nuh.. just cute". I have more impending motions too. Like.. i want to go Russia try their delicatessen, maybe be a journalist in africa.. adopt a kid there, buy a house by an exotic beach& i can paint there yadda yadda..

Anyways, i can't tan. Temporary. The SIA official employers prefer fair believing it'll yuppify girl's countenace. I guess no more mooting on my undecisive perspective. Its an advantage too you know or i'll brag to Daniel bout it over& over again. He'll not stand it. Neither can i.

I was an ugly duckling.

Literally. Its an exact factual statement that matches a children's story. I'm just proud i was ugly. My mom told me how it was a phallic before but after engrossing in baby photographs she leaked a more detailed one. It began like this; the day i came out ugly, yes just a simple ugly, my paternal bloodline extracted me out of their circle of love. Then my mom would always say to my terribly round clueless face;; "you must grow pretty, you see, they don't even like you." Fortunately, God made wonders. After nine months my features edited itself but it weren't till 2yrs later i'm not considered unwanted. Permanently. PS: ily mommy& aunt daisy(idk where you are) but ty for praying for me.

Anyhow, i'm liberated. Yes finally. I've gone rich to poor in a day. BUT, i got a beautiful wallet& a knitted baker boy(black) from RIVER ISLAND. yay! Okay I'm meeting my baby& BFF in a few hours time after a fundimental interview so... to be continued:] bye peeps!

I eat stuffs idk/can't remember what its called

Anyways i'm proud of bald women. You see, i can't live without my hair unlike them. & certainly if my brown hair is "poof", my above would look like a BIG heart-shaped to my petite frame. So even though it gives confidence to cancer patients, i still can't bring myself to do it unless unless unless you buy me wigs. Looks isn't everything. i know that.

Okie i decided planning for my future now is like planning for my wedd in half a dozen yrs time. Yes. Even my other half agrees on that. I want to do this that and that one. But all of them is a paltry existence in my world. Rawr.

Anyhow today, 1 nov... no more impending confusion. I am travelling back in time to . . . i mean travelling back to my old house to dig out some nostalgic family stash. I certainly hoped my dolls are still there haha. But i deduced all has disposed of after 7 long yrs. At least i'll hold some other visible treasures of my past.

I love oblivion. It means you'll be comtemplating on your own state of mind transcend to knowing more would kill you.