Today while i was at work, i picture myself picking all the heavy structures& releasing it into the open space. & All i heard was the symphonic of Moonlight Sonata mixed with the tacit crashing of wood. Beautiful isn't it.

coffee for loners

* says:
And I won't call you selfish.
* says:
I say you're scared to allow people in so deep.
* says:
Because you experienced the pain at a young age. It scarred you.

I can't stop eating. After my finger's last dip of Amos's cookies i exposed my limbs to note the expanded inches. Difference. There is. So.. i'm gonna drink more coffee.

My mind is slippery. I can't find a song or book to motivate me. So i decided to go to a rental store to introduce myself some friction. I found the perfect movies. Atonement, Trade& Mr Magorium's wonder emporium. Wazouski. Hee that just came at random, many times today.

I'm a bit annoyed at myself for spending my last few hours on idiosyncratic writes online while i could have been in bed or drafting about my encounters with humans or how beautiful fallen ice cream bleeds in the rain. Anyway to my special, thank you for being the flower in an empty room.

Ps to Lolli-mellow: No sleeping pills, or even death in your eyes.

Night ramblings

-I can never decide anything.

-There's too much i want to do in life it makes me hard to compromise.

-In this twisted story I call my life, I play the character of the neurotic girl attempting to achieve her dreams and be Mother Theresa at the same time.

-I am currently obsessed with the song the city is at war by Cobra Starship.

-Some of the words i like are Bare, Floozy, Wazowski, and Really

-I enjoy watching the discovery channel and national geographic

-It makes me satisfied to wear matching lingeries.

-Three things i can't live without;; Writing, God, Novels& my night pillow.

-I like to ponder simple questions like why is this this? And this causes me to sit or lay for long periods of time thinking about people, in addition to the countless other topics that occupy my mind.

-I stop eating much for every 3 weeks in a month.

-I like screaming in the car with the windows wind down.

This is senseless entry. Again nothing makes sense after midnyte.

Beatles' fans ( A must watch)

If you believe

Sometimes i feel like i'm one of the stars rather than the audience
There i observe every wrap of skin around every soul
I would think, there must be someone stanger& more powerful than us.
If not, there won't be a slightest sound of movement
Like who created this burning circle that mirrors a star?

Ps: stay away from me or you'll get burn.

The trees of today's rebirth is so tall& hollow.
Like a land of helloween.
Who left me here?
I'm my white dress& cream shoes and hair soaked from dew.
No flowers. No Sun. No friendly creatures.
Lord, where do i go from here
there, lays the hand-written directory i can't define.
Its like a twice-canceled postage stamp.
But i think it says, this point is just my aquaintance.

yay.

'The lamp of the body is the eye. It follows that if your eye is sound, your whole body will be filled with light. But if your eye is diseased, your whole body will be all darkness. If then, then light inside you is darkness, what darkness that will be.'

I shall ration carefully my imminent stock of money before it dwindles. I picture branches of a tree that narrows to the list of to do things. Messy, occupied& consequences miserable as a mule but.. fullfilling. So upon church& work, i will be starting school. Yay. I thought of squeezing in Piano classes. I guess I'm just trying to fly without wings.

I'm floating slightly above rock bottom cause i have the largest need in the universe to empty pointless fats from my body but they just won't leave from hiding out under my skin. The pool seems extra friendly tonyte. I shall take full advantage of it soon.

Mood: Easy.
Song: Hollywood undead- Kids.
Who created this entry: My darling YL.

Aim: lose more pounds.

The sound of the piano, if its muted, the thud of the keys against the polished wood composed no music but.. there's rhythm. Yes. It still lingers. Thud. Thud. Thud. A novice would create a foreign path on the milky white spruce but can't replay it after the first stroll. Like humans that can never go back from their current destination.

"I like to look for things no one catches. I hate the way nobody notice the missing petals of a flower in movies."

"Its better to help people than make up"

"I always create images of every swallowed dictionary words cause i'm not clever."

"God does not favour, he does not leave."

"I seek solitude. I amuse myself with silly questions wherever i go, such as "How would my phantom child look like with this man, or what if my Mother has Michelle Pfeiffer's features?" "

"Aneroxic is beautiful."

"You musn't touch me although i like the feeling."

"Sometimes i'm closer than your skin. Sometimes i'm further than the moon."

Stranger but God.

They say that there are moments that open up your life like a walnut cracked, that change your point of view so that you never look at things the same way again. - Keeping Faith by Jodi Picoult

My mind has been printed with quotes& prayers. Don't go.

Every other human in my brain asked, why i started out in the end& worked back to the beginning, the reason was simple, i can't understand the beginning until i reached the end. There were too many pieces of the puzzle missing, too much you could never tell. And the end is like road signs on a foreign highway.. the correct one unrecognisable. But a popular stranger tells me.. kept telling me, just float. I could try to predict the directions of the wind, i could contort a picture out of the clouds& nothing i see is ever as clear& sharp. But no. I would just indulge on nothing but float.. I do not worry if the sun burns out my ground or if the human condition of lonely hits back home. how do i express the being with that stranger is my only form of sanctuary after 19 years?

Ps: Stranger but God.

i've a number of questions about destination. But only for my ears to hear& the people for comfort. But the words of a friend; "Why shall you stop? don't bury your feet on the quicksand ground" makes my fragile platitudes stung on armor.

Anyway here's a part i like.

"CLOSER.
"I'm not a thief, Alice."

Eden is a garden,
Ember is a seed.

"Just take my picture."

You want a Sharpie?
It's retractable - like your dick,

You'll read this later,
I'm in love with you.
Not the IDEA of you - I'm in love with you,
It's a strong bond, you and I.

It scares me.
The emotion.

I embrace it,
I'll keep embracing it -

Embrace.
Emb(er) ?

"Language is a virus."
"Language is a lie."

Language is a funny thing."