What the eyes don't see

I realise Dan& me has this habit. Good habit. We create all sorts of nonsencical words& starts naming each other with them. But i make better ones haha. We also has this routine where i'll summarize the novels i read& tell it with him. Then wowing at the layered description all together written. Lastly he dares me to play worms with him in his psp. In the end i won hee...

I feel girders in my tighs. The reason: two hrs of calorie burning with Dan ytd. I'll be fattened with dread if you ask me walk a few feet. Anyways Mommy signed me for a membership in a country club which i have no idea where. But yay. I'll be looking forward to luxury. Recently, she's becoming more generous. Cooking twice in a week& borrowing me her jacket, not to mention paying for my once in a lifetime necessities. Also she's becoming more old fashioned. Me: "mommy! why u buy such old hokkien songs?" Mommy: "Ey it's nice! you don't know a thing." (next min she plays it loud and sitting wide eye at opera faces on stage)

Chinese. This language reminds me of my past, where i'll speak chinese every-day. Can you imagine? Me talking that& i hate it. Me. Saying my feelings in that. It gets my tongue roll in difficult directions. This chinese song played in the middle of my book reading& reminded me of before. How guilty i was to abruptly stop contacting them. If you know me you'll understand. So in the end i spoke to the brother. Am adrift from their grip. Not like before& i'm glad.

You're Beautiful, pretty... melifluous.

Me: Gosh i'm tearing cus of a book.
Aunt Betty: Aw life is sad already why read sad stories still?
me: true...

& i thot reading ppl's life will make me feel better bout mine.

i saw this pretty ring with initial "love" on it& i wanted to get two of it but thot better. Recap of the familiar consequences. Aww i'm getting double eyes tml. i have it framed chilli& pointy, lengthens my round face. Anyways tml i'm back at work at Clarke Quay& i realise the hours are gonna past slow. Oh... must... bring... dvds... Darn i still can't decide if i should get a real diary. Like real-i will pen everything down. I tried having to start on one b4 but after the first 2 entries, it became my notebook/missing pages. In the end, i think i'll get& then blithely force to myself to scrawl. So i'm into model photography, everyone is becoming skinner& everyone isn't satisfied with what they are. Its the underlying statement. Anyways i want more lingeries clothes& bags. But it won't make me any happier if i got them.

vague rememberence

you are at turning point, my dear. what is it that you intend to do with all this bitterness i ask you?

Ello! computer was busted& i couldn't blog which is bad. I shall start drafting my modicum of privacy. I met my childhoodies recently. Aww how much i missed them. We could always migitate clastrophes& talk as if the word 'grotesque' doesn't exist. Anyways i better stop on frieds, Grandma's yelling in chinese; "You know your body can't take heaty food so stop!" Okay so i got to meet Dan ytd for a few hours out of our bz lives. He's aiming for motor licence. Glad he's griped onto one of his dreams. This week has one of the days that would be marked "special". Mommy talked to me about my stepdad. My talking button has been set mute for him since months ago. So she said i should understand his rude character& way of expressing he cares.

Mommy: you know he even insult me once that my brain is fuck-up!
Me: smiles* i still won't speak to him. not yet.

Anyways my dog has the best wake-up call. She'll scratch my door which can last for bout 3hrs until we let her in. & i'm not planning to after going through a room crisis. My room has reached a factitious level of pleasure after i spent my morning spring cleaning. But the tidiness will soon disappear very soon cause of. The big sister. Okay so next mon to sat i'll be working. Right now i'm nursing my dreading emotion. i need an interest.

I realise i'm not putting any quotes on blogger anymore. so here's one.

Never think your nothing.
Never cry at night because you're not pretty enough.
Never tell yourself you'll never be good enough.
because to someone, you're everything.
To someone, your gorgeous.
To someone, you are the world.

I had my huge share of lays& chocolate festooned with nuts&& to movie with baby today. i never felt so clear with abit of fawn. Despite my having crispies in my throat in the mornings& allergies to nuts. Oh.. i'm in purgatory now. I came across a deafening silence that cannot block out the pictographic darkness. For reasons i can't put to words, i made sure i nae lose my composure. If i do, it'll burn me with future regrets. But still, i felt like an audience during our mesh act. "we shall start over. okay?" i nod. Even if i've not said it, when i said i don't want him here. i actually do.