let go

So the close batch of us partied the last few days in Paramount. I thought was pretty okay. No pictures taken there though because my camera isn't flash operated. Other than that was the part Dan& me accidentally sat for a zombie movie. I hate it. I hate dark seekers. I hate secluded spaces. After everything that happened on christmas, i hate the movie even more. But the German Shephard parts are my favourite. Okay then i wanted mental mindreplenishing so afterwards we got dark chocolates. Happy!

I'm comtemplating where to frolic on NewYear's eve. Homeclub maybe? But first my revolution. i need my thinkin cap. Like Blues Clues. I'm too sleepy for anything. O well. This evening after work Dan& me headed town to see Anna Judge April. I couldn't make out what the girl was singing maybe cause i'm forced to be seated at the side of the stage where the speakers isn't faced there. But their music is great as usual:]

Anyway i think i'm getting depressed. Yes. Its comfirmed. Roberto's last class is tml& i won't be seeing him again;[ Well life goes on.. gotta let go.

3.30a.m

My sister& me ran away from our temporary house by then. Its more of i followed her. Home is pain. Anyhow it was only 4 hours i was asleep till now& i decided to borrow Tity's com. My sister is sound asleep. Tt's good. Christmas morning has been horrible. Us insinuating the rewinded paroxysms of misery before we went to slumberland at 7 a.m. Mommy's honest msg broke my my well. Anyway between then i thought of words other than 'crying' to distract my self-centered soul. I remembered this phallic conversation afew days ago & it goes like this..

Me: Do you know there's 4 more words with the definition of crying?
Dan: mm.. he started saying weeping? watering.
Me: watering? no! hahaha.
Then i started pretending intelligence& becoming the substitude thesaurus.

Anyway. Merry christmas everyone. Lastly to Geri, you're loved by me most.

Blogged- 3.am.

& i never thought i'll still be hanging out with the ones i thought have long gone. But anyway it will be time to say goodbye. Okay cheers to love on christmas! PS: i finally have that M'cd given from Daniel.

I am robot

Ima in my Dad's now. Pretty contented.. I slept for 11 hours for the first time in weeks. Anyway 2days ago, i got gifts from both my parents. A Carlorino handbag& Incanto~Dream perfume. So happy. But i'm not excited on the upcoming razzmatazz because my payday is switched to end of next week. Plus my Dad loaned me cash for suficiency which also means this year would be a season of no giving.


Anyhow ytd Seth Dan& me met for jamming. Sort of. I was more of in my own world:]Afterwards we had my feve prata. Then i got greedy so i got myself a hot plate of bbq fish. I finished the entire thing excluding the bean sprout. That was during a few of our friends joined us. To be frank, i want to construct a gap between them& me. Its like a merry loophole that doesn't goes with you. Like, your a raindrop on a mew. Like, you wish there's such thing as human sublimation.

So...24th, 28th, 30th, would be party party party& on the 29th- Gig. Yes party will be at my mom's bar, she invited me for the first time. That's cause i'm 18. Now she remembers. Did i mentioned she cooked a yummilishes dinner last nyte? Well I got back from town just to finish 1/2 of her delicatessen then headed to my Dad's. Jaded.. Okay that's all for now, gtg!

Bubbly in Ganache

So its before before Christmas dinner day& Vert decided for us to go to this delicatessen ytd. He works there. We did. I put up till 12a.m mainly cause i had platter& mushroom from Brussell Sprout then Gingerbread, 70%, Spring& Cassis from Laurent's cafe& chocolate bar. All of which should belong to monied people& i felt horrible. But after the gorge, like heaven thanks to Berlinda& tweety bird. Vert has a small mohawk. Anyway i got back at 1& yea few more hours to work. Work work work.


There was this part that we couldn't stand ourselves. This chubby lady sat on a high chair with her thongs so obvious. Extremely& she knows it but she let it be. Vert felt like going over to spank her ass(jokingly) Well basically we all agreed its disgusting. I was wondering if those type of girls know its a turn-off?


A part of Bazzare said if you sleep more, you'll lose weight. And then Dan was like:" you sleep more or less, you look the same." =.= i need to body trimming. Anyhow i Gtg. Bye!

Here's how the surprise went. Many days agooo, i said to Dan that i want to watch Nutcracker on ice. Then it was left in oblivion. But after work today, he collected me from parkway& we left for God knows where. & then we reached fairytale. I was soooo happy. Am happy still. At this juncture, i reminise about me a few hours ago. I had forgotten that i cried for an hour ytd. I forgotten that i made a plan. I only thought how lucky i was. lucky lucky.


Anyhow i had a dream last night. Not a nightmare. A dream. I was stabbed by sharp confetti of ornaments after the gargantuan christmas tree fell on me. I saw myself like a soul watching her familiar body adorned with blood when they removed the plastic branches. Afterwards, it blurred till the part i told the nurses to let me go. Not literally though.. Naeway how many days to christmas? right, 11;]

In nineteen mins you can be overdosed

In nineteen mins, you can confess every pain you have to someone you chosen. And in nineteen mins, you can do what you said you wanted. But then during the beginning, you decided to wait for the next bomb to fall on you to comfirm for that nineteen mins to happen.


Ello guys how is all? Well for selfish me fashion, i'm good. I'm at work now which i shouldn't be but well i prefer to be out from the house. Okay seriously i'm at work cause of a temporary change of schedule. Anyhow ytd i brought Nana to watch A& the chipmunks. Afterwards, we met our Dad at Cartel. My dad was the last to place his order so i said to the lil ones "he can't decide which cause he wants all" & we all giggled. Anyway during dinner i told my Dad, 2yrs from now, i want my own house. He then gave a ridiculed look yadda yadda yadda.. so i smiled to myself; he doesn't know me at all.


Before Dan came over late at nyte, i took a non-advisable combination of edible drugs. But because i'm a coward, i took a small amount of each. I wanted to test the body aftermath. I also wanted my brain to dysfunction for awhile. Then i prayed God don't punish me.


I can't for Dan to uncoil his surprise for our tenth month later;]

I'm fishing in a sea of nothing

Ello people. I just got back from an errand i had to make& there's an impending notion not yet to be accomplished because of the weather. Well before that was work and Kaylea came for one of the classes. I suspect whoever sees her would automatically label her demure. And she has eyes that'll urge you to be her protector. I gladly was for the 45 mins though;]


Anyhow anyhow, i went for a gathering ytd with the ex-adams& friends. I remember seeing myself fussing over my loose dress& selflessly making myself occupied. So much for a goodbye gathering. But the barbequing part was quite productive(like duh) everyone's attention gets to the food i guess. Well mine did. Aww& here's the obvious part. Some of us were clearing the charcoal out when when my dress slipped down. Then i just pretended it was OKAY. Seriously its not that i'm not conservative. My cheeks are doing self-destruction. You know like tomato red. So i told myself i'm never wearing that loose pretty dress again even if everyone said it was good on me.


Okay i've been reading nineteen mins. I came across a hundred words worth noting but i only insinuate over a platitude; Death has no second chances. Idk why demish seems to be the only epithet i am coiling myself in. But during this, too, had emanated a hate. A hate that i know i've choked myself to a weakling. A hate that i don't have a clue to who am i. A hate that i know all of this reflects me immature.

Will you still remember me if there was a me?

Significant

The meaning of life is different for individual. However, there are two paths each individual can take. They can choose either a Happy life, or a Signifiant life. If they want to remain happy, they are surrounded with friends and family and devote their time to these little matters. A person choosing a significant life, has to make many sacrifices in order to be significant.

-philosophicthoughts

I ate an hour of Dan's happiness today. I told him i want to rid this soul in my body. I had said it few times before but in levity. This time, i expressed a factful deathwish. He than felt misery to tears so i dispose my pathetic admission. We talked about Religion& Science. He told me a short story of Jesus that he thinks might sway me but no. But in effort to make ourselves happy, i talked about direct contribution in VSO or SIF. Which reminds me an alternative to not be a paltry in this world.


Earlier today, i rented jodi picoult's latest book. YES. Means they'll be more of her new books to come. Its titled: nineteen mins. I quickly left the bookstore so as to "extricate" regretness due to the lack of cash i'm left. Anyway after 358 days i finally tasted gingerbread. Dan got for me 3 of a different design. I finished 2& saving the last.

Gingerbread& Prodigal Genevieve.

This Christmas

A min ago, i was eminently excited to start blogging. And then.. i became overwhelmed with droopiness& slumber mind. Last few days i've been horribly busy but the children are pure sunshine. One of them actually mistook no for yes. "Do you want a stamp? No." Means yes. Well everyone is in christmissy mood. I see green, red and blue, but i'm more on blue. Blue for; $ needed to buy gifts.

Anyway i'll be busy until idk when. Even on my offday on fridays, i have an encompass schedule. But i'll still find the time to paint my nails.

Speaking about nails, i met my Dad ytd. Daddy& nails are total opposite attract but since i was young, majority of my girly necessities are bought to me from him. Okay he got me a nail polish to subsitute all the dry ones at home& a remover. Then he gave me an exobitant amount of cash to last me for about 2 weeks( i pray longer). I didn't like myself accepting it but during desperate measures like this one, i have to ignore my demeanor. Anyhow, i felt more enamored. Its rare that i get sufficiently showered. Still i prefer less generousity.

Anyway the main influence of blogging today is because of the best best best true story i ever read about. Betty Mahhoody, the one& only lady i look upon out of all my favourite authors. Its basically about human rights. Yes, i've been attentive to only the animal catergory. So next i'm gonna jump to another Human book.

Okay really jadad. Gonna go. Bye! Twinkle twinkle lil star....

My Saturday

This December 2007 ingredients to celebration would be contrast to razzmatazz, I'm hoping i would get an advance pay or i'll disappear from my portion of crowd best i can. While "shopping" in borders I found a writer's book whereby my style of writing cannot be disimiliar from his even from the careful 2 mins i took analysing. I left right after i stopped at the entrance, i've a current trepidation to explore something.


Anyway ytd i started my first day at work. I get to frolic with infants& perfect families& i also have a proposition for christmas, tt's what i love about this work. My nagative thesis would not impinge when lil angels surrounds my senses. I need to work resisting myself from recoiling to procreating fun though& I like it there. Anyhow, Joyce my manager is Daniel's cousin's wife. Basically. wow.


Then after Dan& me met my mom at parkway. She bought a huge bag which she's eminently proud of until i commented it looked a quater of the exact price she purchased for. So hypocritically i agreed that it looked really nice. Before we left for home with marks& spencers reduced fat carbs, i finished a tuna bun. I told my mom about Dan's relation with my manager. I deduced it would be a different sense of comfort at work already. When we got home, we watched Like Mike while i had a big cup of peppermint ice-cream, a bunch of cookies& belgian chocolates. I finished the entire thing.


Anyhow i hate fretting over family normalcy problems. Take my sister for example. She's 12& she still doesn't know the idea of manners. I can't blame her due to unforseen reasons but during raving junctures, i feel like strangling her. Literally. Infrequently, i wished i had had their kind of life. Knowing lesser things makes them live easier. Don't you think?