1. SOMETHING WHITE WITHIN 5 FEET OF YOU?
My pillow.
2. THE SEXIEST ITEM YOU OWN?
Gee.. I don't know. All of em?
3. YOUR NAILS WERE LAST PAINTED...?
Shimmering peach.
4. THE WORST THING YOU'VE EVER HEATED IN THE MICROWAVE:
Raw beef! (makes me go sour :s)
5. HOW MUCH CHINESE DO YOU KNOW?
A quarter.
6. DO YOU LOOK GOOD IN YELLOW?
Baby yellow one i do.
7. DO YOU SING?
Yes, in the shower.. to the bus stop..
8. WOULD YOU DANCE NAKED IN FRONT OF A CROWD?
If you knock me senseless.
9. DO YOU SPIT?
Why in God's name would a girl do that.
10. IS YOUR HAIR LONG ENOUGH TO CHEW ON?
Aw don't remind me bout LONG hair.
11. LEAST FAVORITE COLOR?
Purple.
12. EVER PLAYED AN INSTRUMENT?
I played guitar, piano& trombone. Ty very much.
13. DO YOU BELIEVE IN BIG FOOT?
Yea..
14. EVER BEEN TO A PALM READER?
Would like to.
15. DID YOU HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND?
I forgotten what i did.
16. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT RIGHT NOW?
We the king's lyrics. They rock!
17. EVER HAD A BLACK EYE?
I'm anti-violent.
18. HOW IS TODAY GOING FOR YOU?
Sickly.
19. EVER TAKEN A PHOTO OF SOMETHING DEAD?
No!
20. WHO IS SEXY?
Bloo!
21. DO YOU HAVE PLANTS IN YOUR ROOM?
eh.. they'll die if i do.
22. IF YOU COULD DRINK ANYTHING RIGHT THIS SECOND WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Low fat milk.
23. WHAT DID YOU DO AT 9 PM LAST NYTE?
Met Dan for a movie.
24. WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR BF/GF A SECOND CHANCE IF THEY CHEATED ON YOU...?
I always will.
25. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU FOUND OUT YOUR BEST FRIEND WAS GAY?
I would support them.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
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Wich Care Bear Are You? (very long for accuracy) created with QuizFarm.com | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| You scored as Share Bear You are Share bear.
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Wednesday, February 27, 2008
26/2, Evening. Daniel with me.
- I don't care i want to adopt a dog. Or a cat for my birthday. I'll bring either which home on that day itself so they can't say anything.
- Why not a hamster?
- Nae.. all the hamsters i kept died after awhile.
- Aw okay, er.. that's nice to hear.
Today.
My life has many series of fast forwards. What i'm saying is, my mind tends to outdistance my size-five feet. I would, unconsiously, remove all sorts of impressive events until a sparodic reminder cues me to notice my gargantuan soul still straggling behind. Then i'll start to hammer my nerves for a particular oblivion. I should update my schedule book. Really. Really really really.
I hope.
When i glide smoothly above the mountains of my preferred paths, like an eagle, i must be careful not to stumble onto the rocky heights. A slight touch to one would estrangle me into reluctant emotions. My vision would, thus, contort into a messy passage-way instead. That's when the inital agenda would supress itself until it is suitable to reapproach the tiresome plans. I thought of my destination(un-literally). I think its an improvement. But i am trepidated too. Because of the what ifs& what is. No. I gotta stand tall.
- I don't care i want to adopt a dog. Or a cat for my birthday. I'll bring either which home on that day itself so they can't say anything.
- Why not a hamster?
- Nae.. all the hamsters i kept died after awhile.
- Aw okay, er.. that's nice to hear.
Today.
My life has many series of fast forwards. What i'm saying is, my mind tends to outdistance my size-five feet. I would, unconsiously, remove all sorts of impressive events until a sparodic reminder cues me to notice my gargantuan soul still straggling behind. Then i'll start to hammer my nerves for a particular oblivion. I should update my schedule book. Really. Really really really.
I hope.
When i glide smoothly above the mountains of my preferred paths, like an eagle, i must be careful not to stumble onto the rocky heights. A slight touch to one would estrangle me into reluctant emotions. My vision would, thus, contort into a messy passage-way instead. That's when the inital agenda would supress itself until it is suitable to reapproach the tiresome plans. I thought of my destination(un-literally). I think its an improvement. But i am trepidated too. Because of the what ifs& what is. No. I gotta stand tall.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
-http://sliverofmylife.blogspot.com/, your read like imaginary God-play channelled Astrid Magnussen right back at my feet.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Thursday, February 21, 2008
8.04p.m, still have a few hours to waste.
I could only remember a faint whisper seducing near the earrings through my lobes. And that was it. No after. No before. My body had unconsiously dissipate my mental version of dreams. So my left palm rubbed the bedsheet in repetitive motions feeling for my cell that acts as my dashboard clock. I have a habit of waking up at certain time to check how many hours of sleep i'm left with.
I could remember, it was 2a.m exactly and i had 3 text messages. I scanned through the plausible senders in my head& all was not what i roughly picked. The 3 came from the very same person. A person who never first-handedly text me at night. That person is my mother. Yes. A drunken one.
When i got home from work i chatted with my groggy mother;;
Me: what was the 3 imbecile messages about?
Mommy: huh? what messages? i didn't send any.
Me: You did. & they were each slightly different.
Mommy: Is it? what i say?
Me: You ask me or i assume Geri to help you take care of jak who's in camp now.
Mommy: I don't know. I was so high.
I know. I just like reminding ppl their acts of idiocy.
I bought myself another 2 novels one each from Karen Robards& NR's. SO darn happy. I also bought a simple gift for my mother. A bleeding tooth-shaped plate. Contented. I haven use any portion of my salary on her for quite awhile. Okay gonna go read now bye.
I could only remember a faint whisper seducing near the earrings through my lobes. And that was it. No after. No before. My body had unconsiously dissipate my mental version of dreams. So my left palm rubbed the bedsheet in repetitive motions feeling for my cell that acts as my dashboard clock. I have a habit of waking up at certain time to check how many hours of sleep i'm left with.
I could remember, it was 2a.m exactly and i had 3 text messages. I scanned through the plausible senders in my head& all was not what i roughly picked. The 3 came from the very same person. A person who never first-handedly text me at night. That person is my mother. Yes. A drunken one.
When i got home from work i chatted with my groggy mother;;
Me: what was the 3 imbecile messages about?
Mommy: huh? what messages? i didn't send any.
Me: You did. & they were each slightly different.
Mommy: Is it? what i say?
Me: You ask me or i assume Geri to help you take care of jak who's in camp now.
Mommy: I don't know. I was so high.
I know. I just like reminding ppl their acts of idiocy.
I bought myself another 2 novels one each from Karen Robards& NR's. SO darn happy. I also bought a simple gift for my mother. A bleeding tooth-shaped plate. Contented. I haven use any portion of my salary on her for quite awhile. Okay gonna go read now bye.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
the sun in the rain
Up there, the sky, looks down at me and all I can do is stare back and ponder the meaning of life and creation." -ClownFaces.
Mood: Sleepy.
Music: Brit and Alex.
It dawned on me, that when someone's life lives in fear& corruption, i do not know how to show sympathy. I do not know how to use the human's general consensus of "i'm sorry". How do i explain why. My dear friend's mother might imminently relent to death so i pened down my version of comfort words through a gift. I thought these simple gestures are useless. It surely couldn't diminish the pain so heavy as granite& moldering. Right? *But i'm glad you like it Nat.
I strolled into shops& enjoyed my own company this evening. I like shopping alone. Shopping cheap i mean. I like to comtemplate& disqualify my choice of materials at my preferred stop. I settled for 2 undies, a butterfly designed bag& cereal(finally) with the entire hour. I'm planning to go on cereal diet by the way.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Friday, February 15, 2008
the walking dreams
3.49a.m, Blogging backwards again.
I always knew my mother has a hidden store of pain. But i never noticed she is thinking of biding the world goodbye. Until her sliced tears rolled down in rough patterns, she speaks why. The mixture of un-pleasanties& the exhaled vapour of booze were flowing out of her mouth in leeway. I absorbed the entire story like pening down notes in science class. The main character was my sister. I don't know who she is anymore. I don't even want to know. But she was the monster in the story. We talked about every hurt in every bygones that we can remember. Even those days i couldn't fathom because it was like a white hole.
I too started talking. Talking about a deep dark secret she never knew. She hadn't known me. She hasn't before. My Dad didn't believed me when i complaint. That was why i relinquished the platitude of consulting in her. It took me a purposeful pause of comtemplation to allow myself to tell her. & i did. She soaked in every detail. I felt lighter to a feather. But the conversation disconcerted me still. Because my secret concerns the person i love very much& i do not really know who is the monster.
I am a creature of habit. Everytime i am destinating myself, i would inject music to my ears. I do not have an Mp3 like most of you. So its just my cell& me. Its a normalcy that i feel defenseless against many phantoms of me so i like picking out a few songs to promote my daze. But today became the contrary when Daniel bodied a comfort like a soft pillow that encourages sleep. So the neutral tranquility was perfect enough.
I shall pivot back to mins before okay? Right, i was asking Daniel a befuddled question. "what if i am like Holly in PS, i love you, that i could only find what i really really want at the age of 30 over? How am i to survive that long?" Daniel-"you shall take your time, have fun now even if you don't have the cash." I then had familiar intoxicating images of me travelling all around the world, taking up summer jobs& looking out for signs. Can i do that? It may be no from you but I've decided to hold that opinion.
I had a great evening in my other half's perspective. I have gluey marshmellows& 85% dark chocolate resting in the fridge due to the annual routine of a romantic.
I always knew my mother has a hidden store of pain. But i never noticed she is thinking of biding the world goodbye. Until her sliced tears rolled down in rough patterns, she speaks why. The mixture of un-pleasanties& the exhaled vapour of booze were flowing out of her mouth in leeway. I absorbed the entire story like pening down notes in science class. The main character was my sister. I don't know who she is anymore. I don't even want to know. But she was the monster in the story. We talked about every hurt in every bygones that we can remember. Even those days i couldn't fathom because it was like a white hole.
I too started talking. Talking about a deep dark secret she never knew. She hadn't known me. She hasn't before. My Dad didn't believed me when i complaint. That was why i relinquished the platitude of consulting in her. It took me a purposeful pause of comtemplation to allow myself to tell her. & i did. She soaked in every detail. I felt lighter to a feather. But the conversation disconcerted me still. Because my secret concerns the person i love very much& i do not really know who is the monster.
I am a creature of habit. Everytime i am destinating myself, i would inject music to my ears. I do not have an Mp3 like most of you. So its just my cell& me. Its a normalcy that i feel defenseless against many phantoms of me so i like picking out a few songs to promote my daze. But today became the contrary when Daniel bodied a comfort like a soft pillow that encourages sleep. So the neutral tranquility was perfect enough.
I shall pivot back to mins before okay? Right, i was asking Daniel a befuddled question. "what if i am like Holly in PS, i love you, that i could only find what i really really want at the age of 30 over? How am i to survive that long?" Daniel-"you shall take your time, have fun now even if you don't have the cash." I then had familiar intoxicating images of me travelling all around the world, taking up summer jobs& looking out for signs. Can i do that? It may be no from you but I've decided to hold that opinion.
I had a great evening in my other half's perspective. I have gluey marshmellows& 85% dark chocolate resting in the fridge due to the annual routine of a romantic.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Women has 175 personalities. Make her drunk and it'll all come out. - Faith, my wonderful lengthly acquaintance.
5.59p.m. Office.
Whenever my sister mentions her unfortunate days, i would inadverdently slip away from the moment. Like semi-conscious, and only capable of chewing in a short thread of words here& there. It is like a second nature to me now. Don't ask me why cause' i am unsure of that myself.
Okay before i bore you, i'll go back to my actual indication. So i just sat a few distance away from her assimilating what i can. I felt like an ice block.. letting the invisible wall partitioned us. I should have gone closer but i didn't. I was much too cold a person. But i am too, the type of girl who cries during a sappy movie or when i encounter a dead organism in the middle of the road. So am i a contrary to a ruthless being?
It was decidedly less than 5 mins that another scene unfolded itself. I was sleeping on my mom's bed& my sister in hers at another room. I started to picture our sisterhood in abstract, our hands slipping loose, our identities a black& white. With my hair travelling into the night we made a tacit peace to our past.
My childhood friend left for Australia last nyte; furthering her studies in University. I miss her. We had a promissory convention to see each other again. (Provided i live frugally for the entire year.) She& i, have a totally different profile. If you see us tgt, you will know why. But we clicked like magnet on a fridge. She has something in her so palpable that i felt like i could take it in my hand. Maybe that explains the connection.
I have about less than 10 more months of planning& a whole lot more pages of my novel to agape at. Its percuilar among my other collections;; Written by Natsuo Kirino.
5.59p.m. Office.
Whenever my sister mentions her unfortunate days, i would inadverdently slip away from the moment. Like semi-conscious, and only capable of chewing in a short thread of words here& there. It is like a second nature to me now. Don't ask me why cause' i am unsure of that myself.
Okay before i bore you, i'll go back to my actual indication. So i just sat a few distance away from her assimilating what i can. I felt like an ice block.. letting the invisible wall partitioned us. I should have gone closer but i didn't. I was much too cold a person. But i am too, the type of girl who cries during a sappy movie or when i encounter a dead organism in the middle of the road. So am i a contrary to a ruthless being?
It was decidedly less than 5 mins that another scene unfolded itself. I was sleeping on my mom's bed& my sister in hers at another room. I started to picture our sisterhood in abstract, our hands slipping loose, our identities a black& white. With my hair travelling into the night we made a tacit peace to our past.
My childhood friend left for Australia last nyte; furthering her studies in University. I miss her. We had a promissory convention to see each other again. (Provided i live frugally for the entire year.) She& i, have a totally different profile. If you see us tgt, you will know why. But we clicked like magnet on a fridge. She has something in her so palpable that i felt like i could take it in my hand. Maybe that explains the connection.
I have about less than 10 more months of planning& a whole lot more pages of my novel to agape at. Its percuilar among my other collections;; Written by Natsuo Kirino.
Saturday, February 9, 2008
I got Sean covey's national bestseller loose on my fingers. I thought of taking a wager, for an admission of destroying my befuddlement. Should i buy it? What if it doesn't fulfill this hole? Should i permitt myself to revenue neutral instead? I was 3 steps away to owning it.
After an hour of procrastination, I bought it. (Including various comments from the people around me.) It is currently indispensable like a personal journal. I did more nerdy-shopping too. This month's national geographic issue. Dough and clay for work. SO happy.
12.36 a.m, drafting backwards.
-I am pissed at myself. That my simple act of idiocy led to cappuccino splattered on every angle of my new books. In the cab. Where the driver divulged me in deep polictics to land recreation. When a Honda slapped a medium stretch of friction against the cab. Then the routine of bloke dismayed interaction occurred so that's when my starbucks sank to oblivion. Now i couldn't tear open my caffaine-glued pages.
I came from town. The foreign yet familiar destination. When was the last time? God. Like Trina said, we must hang-out more. Scrap that. Its the female comfort that wraps us in a never-ending circle.
Anyway, here's a question, Are you Girlfriend/Boyfriend centered? If you are, you're unattractive. Go figure.
After an hour of procrastination, I bought it. (Including various comments from the people around me.) It is currently indispensable like a personal journal. I did more nerdy-shopping too. This month's national geographic issue. Dough and clay for work. SO happy.
12.36 a.m, drafting backwards.
-I am pissed at myself. That my simple act of idiocy led to cappuccino splattered on every angle of my new books. In the cab. Where the driver divulged me in deep polictics to land recreation. When a Honda slapped a medium stretch of friction against the cab. Then the routine of bloke dismayed interaction occurred so that's when my starbucks sank to oblivion. Now i couldn't tear open my caffaine-glued pages.
I came from town. The foreign yet familiar destination. When was the last time? God. Like Trina said, we must hang-out more. Scrap that. Its the female comfort that wraps us in a never-ending circle.
Anyway, here's a question, Are you Girlfriend/Boyfriend centered? If you are, you're unattractive. Go figure.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
when there's just me
I like how heated water minus away the glitters of coldness that encompassed me even in hot summers when i stripped down to nothing. It makes me feel warm inside out. Then i'll start to slide into another place, into a comfortable sanctuary. The words in my mind would formed like ants bringing food to their queen, becoming images& images more of an imagination than a memory.
Just a simple frustration over not getting some things right would un-consiously let the deep mind-grinding questions out and shatter my concentration into a thousand shards. I promised myself to begin researching on my plans. Pen them down like its imminent. But the normalcy of being confronted on the type of job i'll want just left me feeling lousy. Just lousy.
I scolded myself a dime a dozen, then and now. Maybe because all my life, i'm faced with questions i couldn't answer. So i lived with indecisiveness, tacitly. Watching my selfish world is my forte. Writing how i humanize it, i'm a novice but a desperate one. I adore the artistry of a writer's narrative. It distract me from everyone that hears their own, it makes me concentrate on my existence. So i decided to pause on just writing. For now.
Okay its 1.07a.m. I'm nocturnal when it comes to mind-reliving.
Tml, I must fill at least a partial of my starvation on infos. Anyhow i've been hogging on oranges& those annoyingly addictive tarts at every house we visited. But half the time i practically stuck my face in my book. Except for the last house i was baby-struck. Walking into my niece's bedroom makes you shrink to a child's body. The doll dresses. The keleidoscope of plastics toys. The soft vibes that jibes with tranquil frolicking with her. She's so cute. Also a double plus, my wallet is replenished and i'm eating a becon-egg croissant to celebrate. Happy new year everyone!
Just a simple frustration over not getting some things right would un-consiously let the deep mind-grinding questions out and shatter my concentration into a thousand shards. I promised myself to begin researching on my plans. Pen them down like its imminent. But the normalcy of being confronted on the type of job i'll want just left me feeling lousy. Just lousy.
I scolded myself a dime a dozen, then and now. Maybe because all my life, i'm faced with questions i couldn't answer. So i lived with indecisiveness, tacitly. Watching my selfish world is my forte. Writing how i humanize it, i'm a novice but a desperate one. I adore the artistry of a writer's narrative. It distract me from everyone that hears their own, it makes me concentrate on my existence. So i decided to pause on just writing. For now.
Okay its 1.07a.m. I'm nocturnal when it comes to mind-reliving.
Tml, I must fill at least a partial of my starvation on infos. Anyhow i've been hogging on oranges& those annoyingly addictive tarts at every house we visited. But half the time i practically stuck my face in my book. Except for the last house i was baby-struck. Walking into my niece's bedroom makes you shrink to a child's body. The doll dresses. The keleidoscope of plastics toys. The soft vibes that jibes with tranquil frolicking with her. She's so cute. Also a double plus, my wallet is replenished and i'm eating a becon-egg croissant to celebrate. Happy new year everyone!
Monday, February 4, 2008
"Its the first time i didn't need a verbal promise from someone about a particular platitude, its like the inadvertent silence created this reassuring unspoken convention. And it makes my heart dance."
And if i'm quiet, i can hear my footsteps crunching up the leaves stuck to the floor. and all i want now is to keep on walking straight into something i could adore. and i'm not lonely, just getting back into the swing of things.
And if i'm quiet, i can hear my footsteps crunching up the leaves stuck to the floor. and all i want now is to keep on walking straight into something i could adore. and i'm not lonely, just getting back into the swing of things.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
The truth
I have not since childhood, fill the pages of my prodigal diaries or journal, or written down my secret thoughts. It seems appropriate, since my childhood is so on my mind, to do so now. And to draft my present as i've been doing roughly a year, where Annika has always been hiding, from the future.
My mama, our mama, would go through odds to support us. When i say that. It means restarting life over once through from bankrupcy to average. She made it. Even with a despicable alternative that often disturbs us in the mornings when a lot of us has made it to dreamland. Fights, bawlings, throwing things everywhere. It doesn't take physical violence to actually plummet someone, i realise, but the why& how. To diffuse with all that, i consciously doubted her intentions because of our lack of recognition;; our click of connection.
At home. 3 a.m.
Me-"Mama, if i had a daughter, i would be right by her no matter she's right or wrong. Whatever situation, as long as a guy lay hands on her, he is wrong." I remember seeing my mama, portraying an intense, tearful profile when she knew what i believed was wrong. That my sister's crafted version was a lie. I don't know whom to believe. My breaking-down kin, or a mother i have the least clue about. Is this what you label a mixture of emotions? & during that juncture, the only person i hated i discovered was a good person. Not the person whom i picture beating my mom or anyone of us up. Is he moulding his actual ireful ways? What about the money he's been chasing at my mother? What about my sister's confessed platitudes? Goddam why the hell did i go find out something that pressures me at 4 a.m overish. why the hell i have always not know the truth?
Alright i'm late for work. Au'voir
My mama, our mama, would go through odds to support us. When i say that. It means restarting life over once through from bankrupcy to average. She made it. Even with a despicable alternative that often disturbs us in the mornings when a lot of us has made it to dreamland. Fights, bawlings, throwing things everywhere. It doesn't take physical violence to actually plummet someone, i realise, but the why& how. To diffuse with all that, i consciously doubted her intentions because of our lack of recognition;; our click of connection.
At home. 3 a.m.
Me-"Mama, if i had a daughter, i would be right by her no matter she's right or wrong. Whatever situation, as long as a guy lay hands on her, he is wrong." I remember seeing my mama, portraying an intense, tearful profile when she knew what i believed was wrong. That my sister's crafted version was a lie. I don't know whom to believe. My breaking-down kin, or a mother i have the least clue about. Is this what you label a mixture of emotions? & during that juncture, the only person i hated i discovered was a good person. Not the person whom i picture beating my mom or anyone of us up. Is he moulding his actual ireful ways? What about the money he's been chasing at my mother? What about my sister's confessed platitudes? Goddam why the hell did i go find out something that pressures me at 4 a.m overish. why the hell i have always not know the truth?
Alright i'm late for work. Au'voir
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