3.49a.m, Blogging backwards again.
I always knew my mother has a hidden store of pain. But i never noticed she is thinking of biding the world goodbye. Until her sliced tears rolled down in rough patterns, she speaks why. The mixture of un-pleasanties& the exhaled vapour of booze were flowing out of her mouth in leeway. I absorbed the entire story like pening down notes in science class. The main character was my sister. I don't know who she is anymore. I don't even want to know. But she was the monster in the story. We talked about every hurt in every bygones that we can remember. Even those days i couldn't fathom because it was like a white hole.
I too started talking. Talking about a deep dark secret she never knew. She hadn't known me. She hasn't before. My Dad didn't believed me when i complaint. That was why i relinquished the platitude of consulting in her. It took me a purposeful pause of comtemplation to allow myself to tell her. & i did. She soaked in every detail. I felt lighter to a feather. But the conversation disconcerted me still. Because my secret concerns the person i love very much& i do not really know who is the monster.
I am a creature of habit. Everytime i am destinating myself, i would inject music to my ears. I do not have an Mp3 like most of you. So its just my cell& me. Its a normalcy that i feel defenseless against many phantoms of me so i like picking out a few songs to promote my daze. But today became the contrary when Daniel bodied a comfort like a soft pillow that encourages sleep. So the neutral tranquility was perfect enough.
I shall pivot back to mins before okay? Right, i was asking Daniel a befuddled question. "what if i am like Holly in PS, i love you, that i could only find what i really really want at the age of 30 over? How am i to survive that long?" Daniel-"you shall take your time, have fun now even if you don't have the cash." I then had familiar intoxicating images of me travelling all around the world, taking up summer jobs& looking out for signs. Can i do that? It may be no from you but I've decided to hold that opinion.
I had a great evening in my other half's perspective. I have gluey marshmellows& 85% dark chocolate resting in the fridge due to the annual routine of a romantic.
I always knew my mother has a hidden store of pain. But i never noticed she is thinking of biding the world goodbye. Until her sliced tears rolled down in rough patterns, she speaks why. The mixture of un-pleasanties& the exhaled vapour of booze were flowing out of her mouth in leeway. I absorbed the entire story like pening down notes in science class. The main character was my sister. I don't know who she is anymore. I don't even want to know. But she was the monster in the story. We talked about every hurt in every bygones that we can remember. Even those days i couldn't fathom because it was like a white hole.
I too started talking. Talking about a deep dark secret she never knew. She hadn't known me. She hasn't before. My Dad didn't believed me when i complaint. That was why i relinquished the platitude of consulting in her. It took me a purposeful pause of comtemplation to allow myself to tell her. & i did. She soaked in every detail. I felt lighter to a feather. But the conversation disconcerted me still. Because my secret concerns the person i love very much& i do not really know who is the monster.
I am a creature of habit. Everytime i am destinating myself, i would inject music to my ears. I do not have an Mp3 like most of you. So its just my cell& me. Its a normalcy that i feel defenseless against many phantoms of me so i like picking out a few songs to promote my daze. But today became the contrary when Daniel bodied a comfort like a soft pillow that encourages sleep. So the neutral tranquility was perfect enough.
I shall pivot back to mins before okay? Right, i was asking Daniel a befuddled question. "what if i am like Holly in PS, i love you, that i could only find what i really really want at the age of 30 over? How am i to survive that long?" Daniel-"you shall take your time, have fun now even if you don't have the cash." I then had familiar intoxicating images of me travelling all around the world, taking up summer jobs& looking out for signs. Can i do that? It may be no from you but I've decided to hold that opinion.
I had a great evening in my other half's perspective. I have gluey marshmellows& 85% dark chocolate resting in the fridge due to the annual routine of a romantic.
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